Thursday, May 18, 2006

Hands Off My Yabos

My stomach's still bothering me, so I went in for a full physical.

I had a bunch of blood syphoned out of me. Then
they took my pee. And I got a little card on which to

Oh man, I don't even want to think about it.

My next appointment is for Friday. God only knows what
they'll make me do then. Couldn't be any worse than
the doctor telling me to drop my pants, after which he
knocked around my yabo-dabos while my wife was in the
examination room with us.

"Let me know if you feel any discomfort. Wait for it... wait for it..."

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

The Man With the Mustache Touched Me

My doctor felt me up today, looking for a hernia.

The test was inconclusive, though I think I have a new best friend. (cough)

He wanted to do more tests, maybe even a prostate exam. But I told him to slow things down. The relationship was moving a little too fast for me.

So he poked my belly and told me I need to lose weight.

Men can be such bastards...

"This won't hurt a bit. But it will hurt your bits and pieces."