Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Narcoleptic Aztecs

I recently found out why my Aztec Indian ancestors lost to my Spanish ancestors.

Recently discovered anthropological illustrations (on velvet, oddly enough) clearly show the two major problems the proud Aztecs faced. And they weren't the superior weapons and diseases carried by the Spanish, as I was always taught in school.

1. The women were narcoleptic. Most of the ancient velvet drawings show the women asleep on the ground or in the arms of a warrior, who was then unable to fight off the invading Christian hordes.

2. The men couldn't aim straight. They would shoot arrows into the sky and not at the Spaniards directly in front of them.

And so their mighty empire fell.

"Seriously, woman, third time this week. Hey, what are all those white guys doing with my stuff?"

Wake up! Shoot straight! Wake up! Shoot straight!


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