Emmanuelle vs. Dracula

I found myself flip-flip-flipping through cable last night, trying to find a reason NOT to get rid of premium channels. I pay an extra $30 for “Uptown Girls”? Come on!

Suddenly a movie title stopped me dead: “Emmanuelle vs. Dracula”

(Grin.)

No. Way.

Brilliant! Of course, I had to see what it is. It’s genius, really—the combination of the prototypical slutty Euro-chick with the dark lord of sexuality and violence himself. That right there is chocolate in your peanut butter, ladies and gentlemen.

Unfortunately, five minutes in, it was evident the only good part of this movie is the title. Emmanuelle is dumb as lint and can barely string together a sentence in English. And Dracula is a puffy-faced creep who crashes a bachelorette party. Never knew the Count was such a… loser.

Still, what an awesome title.

I need something like that for my book. Something that’ll scream to people, “Hey, baby, open me up for a good time.” Yet Classy.

Some rejected titles so far:

1. The Candy-Coated Cobra (It makes sense in context if you read the book.)

2. Blow Me Vigorously (No context here. It’s pretty much what you think it is.)

3. Jurassic Park II by Michael Chricton (Really had my heart set on this one.)

4. Hot Lesbian Vampires (Sadly, my story features no vampires, lesbian or otherwise. Besides, the publisher already has a book with a similar title.)

5. Girls, Guns, and Germs (Or GGG, pronounced “guh guh guh.”)


"Bleh. My veekness is garlic. And coherent plotlines. Bleh.